Stefanos Studios - Malia, Crete.

The best thing about the apartments are the location.2 minute walk to the beach and 5-10mins from the centre of the nitelife.The rooms are very small and very basic as are most apts in greece.3 blokes in a room is a bit crowded,2 would be ok.At least they have the much needed option of air con that costs 100 euros for 2 weeks.This price will more than likely go up in July and August as the greeks love to rip the english off when they feel like it.The shower is next to the toilet so make sure you have your afternoon pony an hour before getting ready or you'll go out stinking of shit.Its hard to get a bit of sleep before going out cos the main bar is playing loud music (cheesy dance and R&B) from about 7pm.The biggest and most annoying thing is when you get lucky and take someone back to your room to bang the arse off them.The reason being is YOU WILL be charged 25euros.Why????Who knows.Like I said earlier,the greeks rip the english off any way they can.Imagine if you get lucky and take 3 young tarts back like I did.Thats 75euros my friend.And all so you can smash the back door out the little slags.I'd settle for a pot noodle and a wank rather than pay that every night.The workers round the poolbar are cool and emma lets anyone have a feel of her fake tits so go on lads,fill ya boots!

where do i start? we arrived at about 6 in the morning.. we were greeted with a lovely welcome. the men carried our bags to our room. we had to pay 50 euros for deposit each incase we broke anything which i thought fair enough. the rooms were pretty basic... big enough for 2. with the kitchin we got 1fork 2knives and a spoon with 1 bowl and 2 plates?! bit random. nothing to clean or dry up with. no toilet paper. the towels were disgusting and dirty when we arrived. we didnt use these expcept for drying up. we didnt bother getting air conditioning as it was another lot of money and to be fair it was quite cool when we left the balcony door open. the pool was ok. but u had to buy a drink to sit by it... not allowed to bring any of your food or drink down by the pool including bottled water or u get chucked out. drinks here were quite expensive..the foods alright though. the girl staff were lovely the guy staff were diickheads. esp someone called ian whos the PR. if he tries to flirt with u just remember he has a smelly wile.. the security guard is a diickhead as well. me and a friend got kicked out twice and got told to go the beach just two girls... just for coming out our room and being loud when everyone else is up? the beach is not safe at night. if u do get kicked out (i hope u dont) do not sleep on the beach. at least go to the beach and go for a swim but dont shut ur eyes for one second! anyways the bar down stairs is quite alright and the town itself is amazing!!! the people are lovely and you will have a wicked night no matter what mood ur in. it is LUSH! the beach is alright. but if u go futher up to the dark blue sunbeds then u can sit on them for free instead of paying 3 euros. the reps con u off a lot. the 20's package deal is a rip off. the malia mile u dont need to do because u can just tag along. the booze cruize isnt all that either as u have nowhere to sit. the safety box is in the little hut office so i wouldnt trust it. men beware because u will get chased by a taser gun if u cause mischief. if u can find another hotel to stay in i would recommend it soo much. if this is the last place on earth then just be careful and make sure by the end of ur holiday that ur rooms - walls are clean and towels are cleanish and no glass bottles or nothin broken or missing and u will hopefuly get ur deposit bck in full.if u dont pay they wont give ur passports bk or they call police and say ur doing drugs. overall malia f ucking awesome. hotel w a n k